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Free Book Chapter – Read it now

Normal Life is Wonderful (But Reject it anyway)

To celebrate the forthcoming launch of this book, written by Inspires very own Dan Cheeseman, Inspire is pleased to offer readers the chance to read the opening chapter for free.

If you would like to order the PDF of this book for 250 baht, for when it is launched on November 1st, please contact us via link: Contact Form

Preface

The journey and discovery to my books message may begin on the tragic side, but bear with it, as this was fundamental in reaching my conclusions on how I started to get the most out of my life. Unfortunately many of us only realize how precious life is when we lose a loved one. I lost two, my parents, at different times which painfully occurred early in my life, and even earlier for my two younger brothers.

When this is combined with my pretty much lifelong frustration at how we all let society and pressures around us consume our existence (I refused to go to church when I was 8 as I just didn’t believe the whole pitch) has allowed me to produce an interesting, thought provoking thesis on living one’s life. For sure what I encourage will be shun by many, if I hit you with it now you would probably laugh and call me mad. However it is these very responses that just cement my views on why we should all be implementing elements of this thesis in order for us to regain control of our lives.

Initially you could be mistaken for suggesting I merely want to be anarchic, but that is not the case, I just want us all to take more accountability and control of our lives. Society, culture and legislation have too much influence on how we form views and then how we proceed with our life. I want this to change for the good of humankind. We are individuals, yet we live as a cog in a system.

Grandeur, maybe, but we are all entitled to dreams and aspirations.

How it all begun

The following was written two years after my last parent died; both parents died particularly young and left three boys, one of course, myself. Much of what I wrote then I raise my eyebrow to now, some five years on, but I still get the point and find it all very difficult to intellectually discredit. This book written over my last five years and therefore follows the story of how the original thesis has developed to where it is today. Which I must add is still very much intact and difficult for me to this day to disprove.

“As humans, and individuals, there are many wonderful twists and turns to our lives path; from tragedy can come hope, and from hope can come despair. Alas, often predictable as others have experienced it, and as a race we fail to empower human uniqueness to give unique experience. We are a part of the sum total and no more. In the main, whatever you have done, so has someone else.

From uncertainty to our lives we often, it appears, choose to seek comfort rather than risk. This feels me with human despair and has become my inspiration for this book. How we as individuals can let life drift by has given me the impetus to offer options and devise valid concepts for living ones life. Never have I seen considered before.

One can never be so grandeur as to suggest they are the correct options or choices, but certainly what this book offers is a different way to live your life. It looks to reconfirm the beauty and magic of your life in its current capacity, but also then hope for improvement. Its ultimate objective is to empower you, as the individual and not a random entity within society. As it stands now, you are nothing other than an output of society, duplicated millions of times over across the world.

I have written the book in three clear sections. Initially to provide a frame to your current life in which you can appreciate all that is positive. Secondly, it looks to challenge your life in its current capacity and then show how you can continually improve it. Traditional ideology would suggest this can be done by making additional improvements to your life… this book is more radical – and logical – and, I hope, therefore offers more fulfilment in the outcome. In many ways the analogy I used when working for the Post Office in the UK, whom were looking to add new products to a failing business, rings true of this position: ‘Building a new conservatory to a house that is already falling down is not the solution’. Don’t add until you have addressed the basics and current situation.

Finally, my experiment itself, I am living the ‘dream’ that has arisen from my new approach to life. From a very secure foundation in the UK, I now find myself living in Thailand. I am thirty two years old.

My life until only a year or so ago was one of being blissfully bored and content with predictable routine. Money was never a problem and I had a circle of friends to enjoy my leisure time with. I have had two long term relationships, both of which six years in length, and both ended due to just running out of steam. I find that although humans tend to chase love, I am never sure why. Love is an emotion that restricts and controls your life because of your feelings for another. I have a girlfriend in Thailand that I am sure, and hope, is merely another small chapter in my life.

In the UK, I was driven and competed hard in the rat race. As a sales executive for Coca-Cola I always beat everyone at selling; always. I was proud of my achievements, of which culminated in senior positions developing the Post Offices business propositions. However, I never knew what I was chasing; headless in my pursuit of glory. I knew that others around me seemed stagnant and totally devoted to a faceless organisation, with no sense of what life really could mean to them. It depressed me, and I was part of it.

Long before I devised the rejection theory, I never understood why as humans we sort to gain approval from others and aligned to society values for fear of looking out of place. To encapsulate, we fail to live our own life and never react to our own urges – hence why I want people to start to reject what they have now. We as a race must unshackle our allegiances to society and empower ourselves, even if this is to the detriment of a civil world. We all live one precious life, yet we tragically never live it as if it as if it is our only chance.”

– Be open minded to my ideas

You should read and approach this book with a positive mind set; one with pure openness. Rejecting areas of your life is without question the central concept, and this often is interpreted as a negative move. I am not looking to suggest you simply continually reject your life in search of new paths, and allow all that was good to fall by the side. Rejection, as you will see, is to enrich, prevent stagnation, and allow you to stay in control of your life – rather than allow society to dictate. I will recommend rejecting significant parts of your life though, without fear. I will also help you understand why you must sometimes reject parts of your life that you don’t want too.

You may notice that the book bounces between theory, intellectual discussion and then amusing anecdotes and accounts of my experiences. I hope that the structure, layout and style is to your liking. I am proud of who I have become, including my idiosyncrasies.

My memoirs of Thailand are varied, amusing and certainly not a lifestyle I was expecting! I have been involved in things that others can only dream of. I have met people that I could not have possibly met in the humdrums of the UK. It has been, to date, quite an amazing adventure. I have no fear and have total confidence in my decision making. I see life with new eyes and new possibilities. You have so many options with your life, but fail to try through fear. Life is easy if you take control. I have enjoyed my journey and am a total supporter still to all that I have written in this book. Go on, take chance. It is your life. Never regret.

Five Years On, Present Day

Before we get into the main body of the book, here is something written now. You now know where it all started, so let’s briefly touch on where and how have things developed to the present day.

“Life largely remains a mystery and as confusing as ever. Maybe the trick is just to get on and live it without thinking about the detail too much, although that is hardly empowering. It seems as quickly as one week starts, it finishes. Life moves at a pace that we can never get back, and this is largely my frustration at the sheer pace of our life. The window from cradle to grave can be short.

Certainly my somewhat positivist ideology of five years ago has shifted to more central ground. Was I too strong back then to suggest an individual cannot make a difference? Probably, although for an individual to make a significant humankind impact is very, very unlikely. Do we need to make such an impact though? No. However we should take control our lives and better manage the pressures of external intervention that continue to shape how we live and what we do. Regardless of what country we live in.

Life is a continual change and so an individual can do something new and different as technology and natural disasters, for example, change opportunity and ideology. Just look at the late Steve Jobs, the man behind Apple computers, in what he achieved and how he changed our daily routines through innovation within technology. But he was an exception. The question is can we, you or I, also be that exception? In all probability the answer is a resounding no.

My issues with relationships and the need to live a multiple of chapters to one life was born from my frustration of how I saw friends in the UK fall into a predictable life path and my desire not for that to happen to myself. My need to try and emotionally detach myself from others was maybe a result of my parents’ untimely and early deaths. One of the biggest battles I have had to face between the original time of writing and now is being human and having emotions. I read once by a business management guru that emotions cloud vision and judgement. Of course this is true, but it’s also a quality of being a human being.

My position on the importance of human relationships and experiences has never dwindled in fact conceptually it has just got stronger and stronger. It’s a simple hypothesis on the meaning of life and to this day five years on I cannot replace or discredit it. I hope you enjoy the section of this book that explores this area.

Reading my stories on my early experiences of Thailand, or more specifically Pattaya, drew strong parallels to my ‘new’ and ‘old’ testament antagonistic parts of this book. By that I mean in how my views on the same situation have changed in regards to the beer bars and bar girls here. Cultural ignorance is somewhat to blame, I wanted to delete much of what I said but that wouldn’t give you the reader the journey I have been on. Five years on too and Pattaya as a city has changed enormously and is welcoming families from all nationalities. Life is one continuous and fluid change that will impact on our views and what goes on around us.

What I hope these memoirs and theories suggested in this book do achieve is in getting others thinking about their life with an objective of trying to take ownership in their own destiny, rather than let life depict it for them. I am all too aware that death is certain and this must be the driver for us all to make the most of our very special lives and others around us.

So should you reject what you have in life in order to make it better? I am at loggerheads here as my view has somewhat changed but I cannot decide the rationale as to why. Either I have lost my boldness or simply, as part of society, I just can’t bring myself to be so radical and dysfunctional.

I sometimes think to myself I should discard the concept as playful anarchy, but I can’t, I think I have something very valid but as a cog of society I can’t continually keep rejecting. I am either not courageous enough or, and I think this is absolutely fundamental, the controls of everything around me has a tighter noose around my neck than I realised. Society and others do not want individuals to reject, as that would chaos and social disorder. Maybe I have lost my youthful fighting spirit, and that is a real shame. Maybe I have just become that cog that I so dislike, and there is no way out. I think this book has become my baton that is extended out for someone stronger to take this theory onwards and upwards. Could this be you?

Reading my rejection proposition five years later stirred all those emotions it did back then: Excitement, nervousness and bemusement. And that is largely – with the exception of gaining real control – the whole point to it. When you come onto this section there are some really strong arguments that I am sure will get you thinking?”

If you would like to order the PDF of this book for 250 baht, for when it is launched on November 1st, please contact us via link: Contact Form

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